http://www.nytimes.com/2009/11/12/opinion/12michelman.html

This link is an article by Kate Michelman and Frances Kissling.

The illustration with the article shows a woman in flight after being bucked off by a donkey.  I know a lot of feminists who believed this day would never come – they had worked so hard for a woman’s right to choose, they were happy in the achievement that Roe vs. Wade settled the question.   Abortion is legal, they defended.  Anti-choice groups changed their tactics – instead of hitting right on with their arguments that conception begins when sperm finds an egg – they starting getting a support base in the elections, changing one mind at a time and sending that person to represent them and their beliefs.  Bombings still went on at clinics, workers were still threatened, doctors were still shot – but a right that had to be won is now in quicksand.  All the papers seem to focus on is the entire Health Bill and not what it really means to the women of the United States.

Do we HAVE to sacrifice one for the other?  I say not.  If you don’t want an abortion, don’t have one – problem solved.  If you don’t believe in gay marriage, fine.  Marry a person of the opposite sex.

Don’t take my rights to them away because your personal religious belief.

Okay, I realized that we turned back the clocks last weekend, but the Democrats just pushed the clock back on Women’s Rights last night with the “sweeping Health Bill” passing in the House allowing an amendment that restricts abortion access for subsidised insurance plans (like all of them).  So I cannot purchase an insurance plan under this Health Bill if it is subsidised that will offer abortion coverage.

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/11/08/health/policy/08scene.html?_r=1&th&emc=th

Have they lost their minds?  We fought long and hard for Pro-Choice all these years and because Democrats now are moderate (representing areas where the pro-life groups are active), we get tossed aside for the “greater good?”  A basic right is not available because of the shape of our skin and reproductive organs.

http://www.prochoiceamerica.org/news/press-releases/2009/pr11072009_househcrbillstupak.html

National Abortion Rights Action League, NARAL, is not giving up.  Their article says that women who opt for plans that are subsidised will not be able to purchase insurance that offers abortion coverage.  Since most plans are subsidized, that means you can’t get an abortion – not on the list of what is covered.  Eighty-five percent of the insurance companies now offer that in their coverage – it’s legal.  So the amendment tells the insurance companies, you can have 85% of the business that we offer OR you can offer an abortion.  Choice is really no choice. The amendment says that women could buy a “rider” on the insurance plan, but that option is already in use in several states, but no company offers the rider to paying customers.  Which is RESTRICTION no matter how you look at it.

I wrote Nancy Pelosi at AmericanVoices@mail.house.gov and vented a tad.  Okay, a lot. 

I thought I only had to worry about small-minded people carrying placards with bloody fetuses on them.  Now I realize that just because we rid ourselves of Bush, we can’t rest.  We cannot look toward a future where choice for women is a right – we are under attack from our own party.

Palin and her death panel myth is nothing compared to Democrats who toss aside their base of support in such a casual manner.  That amendment has to die. 

Where’s my Abortion Rights placard?  Just as I dug out my No War buttons and signs, now I have to go back and do this Pro-Choice all over again.

Bus from an episode of Lost – all photos remain the property of their owners.  No infringement implied.

I am reading the Fear and Loathing of the American Dream.

I’ve been bothered lately by a few things – some are earth-shattering (or should I say moon-shattering) and others add to my confusion about the world – and the thin veneer of the quality of life in these United States.

Moon shot – okay, with bated breath we waited for the spectacular video of the collection of dust – in search of water on the moon – we plowed a rocket into the moon and it became a nothing story.  I mean, it crashed and the mission was over.  I used to watch the launching of men into space and the cheer of the workers in the control room affirmed success or the concern on the faces on those in front of monitors showed us a problem.  I watched a video of the control room and a cheer went up – and everyone packed their bags to go – one man even saying no to a high-five from a co-worker.  What’s with that?  Bust.

Start your car with your phone – waste gas much?  What is it that people cannot get into a cold car or a hot car?  You need the FREE app, but you also need to spend $500 on a new Viper Security system or upgrade the one you have for $300 – plus $30 a year for service.   What we need are methods to conserve fossil fuels, not make new avenues for demand - like the plug-in air fresheners.  I don’t get them either.

TV commercials:  1.  Shoes sitting around a table and talking about price - we’re not that stupid.  2.  Quest phone ads showing buxom beauties dressed in tight lace tops and low-cut jeans fake-talking and fake-laughing into the phone. Meet singles in your area – do you think they all look like that?  I could be a middle-age trucker smoking a cigar typing in his underwear.  Geeze – give me a break. 3.  Those pipe ads for problems going to the bathroom – without control.  The graphics are awesome, but this is going too far.  I think of rusty smelly pipes that smell like urine.  4.  Any car commercial – don’t want a new one – don’t need to buy one no matter if the guy cries when he is driving Pell mell down a mountainside – or a woman in high heels pressing the petal down – nope – looks very uncomfortable.  5.  iPhone commercials – same as cars – I don’t need a funny mouth with teeth, a groundhog game – just make the sure the phone works.  6.  Geico – the non-lizard ones – with the stack of money – esp. when it calls the woman – no fingers – can’t dial – stupid.  7.  Women cleaning, talking on the phone, buying things in the store, cleaning up after kids and not telling them that spilling milk on the floor is wrong, looking at men adoring – just the whole way advertising images women.

Eating out:  It’s not a luxury anymore – it’s become a part of the american family necessities -even if is McDonald’s.  I watch the Olive Garden commercials and wonder how people can eat all of that stuff they put on a plate.  We see people enjoying themselves and friends while eating and drinking.  Going out to eat is a mine field - quality of food, how clean IS the kitchen, service, conditions of the bathrooms, to name a few.  Watch Fight club sometime – while you are shelling out your money – the people waiting on you are making minimum wage – I worked in a fancy hotel once – I know what goes on in the back.  So help me if I had to strain someone’s oatmeal 17 times – I’d puke.  True story.

Billboards:  Graffiti, that’s all they are – on the way back from Florida, I saw tens of billboards offering truckers and travelers massages from Asian/Hawaiian/Latino girls at truck stops.  Lots of “spas” in that area. I thought.

Katherine and Rich took Pat, Mike and I to a vacation resort on the Gulf of Mexico – Panama City Beach in Florida.  Wow – what a view from the room – and the colors of the sea and the sky soothed my restless spirit – I get skin cancer, so I limited my time to the pool to when the sun went down or was low in the sky.  Mike loves the open water, so he and his sisters were in the Gulf walking through the waves every day - well, Mike surfed them as he usually does.  He turned a wonderful shade of golden brown – while I turn red and splotchy – the Irish side beat out the Spanish side for my skin tone and color – I was almost scared to go to the pool – everyone would need sunglasses when my white thighs were unveiled.  Of course, they’ve been in jeans my entire life.  I did wear shorts once in Hawaii and got sun poisoning and ended up tearing up my skin up (read: scars).

So while I felt weird staying in the room a lot for the first few days, I did get some necklaces done and I started two books – three magazines and watched several movies – just the things I do to RELAX.  It was great!  Mike and I bought our food and cooked it while the others were on a TRUE vacation and went out to eat most of the time.  Their tales of six huge French Toasts made from “breakfast bread” sounded yummy.  We all went out to dinner one night to a seafood restaurant – Captain Anderson’s – and let me tell you, my cold shrimp was the BEST.  I also had a Kaluha Pina Colada – it took me days to digest everything.  The meal was terrific and the service was so good – I can’t imagine what it’s like to work in such a popular place.  The waitress kept calling me ‘Hon and it made me smile.  (Ok, I put the feminist back in the pocket for a while).

A good time was had and more importantly, we put fun back up to a priority for a while and it felt good.  Mike and I took pictures of the “at the shore” wildness at the beachside stores – I started looking at them with a new eye – as a kid it was so cool to play miniature golf – when I saw the one there – it scared the crap out of me.  Check out the pics.  You can see me in the mouth of the whale photo.

One night I was floating alone in the pool.  I was looking at the sky with its stars – the sounds were muted because my ears were underwater – I let the water lift me and carry me – carry my worries and pain away for a while.  I had a moment of complete peace with the universe.   I reconnected with a good feeling.

 SG1

You might wonder why these two words are the title of my blog.  It’s because I don’t know how the sun can be so beautiful when someone I love dies.  The world is just never the same when you walk back into the stream of life.  I’m in Florida on vacation missing Diane and Joe.  Now Joe died 21 years ago, but Diane’s death has brought a new wave of grieving into my life.

Both deaths ripped my little world apart.  I wasn’t an innocent when Joe died.  I lived through some pretty wild hippie and biker chic times – I escaped a violent beating from my first husband.  Although he only did that once, it was his last chance.  He was mentally abusive, but when he went to the other illness, I left and took my son, Joe.

Joe and I grew up together – I was 20 when he was born.  When he was killed in a car accident, it was like I had been killed.  I struggled with life, friends and work in my sadness and anger.  I don’t see too many people from that time – they must have pitied me and been bewildered by my emotional rollercoaster. 

When Diane died, I was looking forward to a new future with her in Georgia.  She and I always had fun – from shopping in antique shops to singing MoTown in the car.  The future was a bright until her light went out.  I’ve been trying to make some sense out of life now for about five years.  I sold my home in California, moved to New Mexico, retired, spent a long time selling the New Mexico house and arrived in Georgia at Diane’s house to start another journey – so much chaos for so long, I was longing for some stability.

I know it seems so selfish seeing this from only my point of view – but I had a lot riding on a new life that included Diane. 

Now, I am struggling to find a place to fit.  Maybe I shouldn’t worry so much about “fitting.”  I just need to be myself – regardless of what that is – in this new place, with new people.  Maybe that IS the lesson.

the moon, our light, our dreams, our mystical partner of the night

Earth – our home, our very life – what we do

So – this Friday, October 9, 2009, we are telling a rocket that we have in orbit around the moon to crash into the surface.  Why?  We want to measure the gases on the moon in order to see if we can use them in our space exploration materials.  I mean, why carry all that up there if it is already there?

We’ve selected a crater for impact site.  We have teams of observatories standing by to witness the event and gather data.   Even the public is asked to train their 10-12-inch telescopes to the spot and report – the impact will be large enough to see.

Thoughts that come to mind are:

• do we think the moon is ours?
• do we really want to take a rocket and “bomb” that planet
• is there another way to gather the data?
• we are an aggressive society who uses our weapons because we can like the big bomb
• why is destruction a part of the way we think to solve problems?

I don’t have the answers.  I wish I did.  I know it feels wrong to me – it felt wrong when we left all our space debris up there when we sent men to the moon – we always leave a mess.  I am at the Gulf of Mexico right now in a resort on the beach – I see kids throwing their paper plates, soda bottles, wrappers, onion rings, etc.  right on the beach.  I saw two seagulls fighting over a soggy onion ring in the beach.  People smoke on the balconies – one of the single places you can smoke – the cigar smoke wafts over to our balcony and I have to go inside.  I see people tossing out their cigarette butts onto the highway.  Parts of this resort city are completely trashed.  Right down from  this hotel is another hotel that is blocked off with a fence.  Every window is broken, air conditioners are ripped out, doors stand open – it’s sad and a blight.

I don’t think we should go to the moon until we clean up our act down here.  We haven’t evolved enough to clean up our own planet and now we are moving to leave debris on another planet.  We don’t deserve to.

Really – the hay rolls are being made!!  I heard a rumble from across the street and there were tractors and machinery – so here are some hay pictures.  Pretty cool!!  Hay in Watkinsville, GA.  I always wondered how they made those – and now I know!

I read an article in Real Simple about how distracted we all get multi-tasking.  It’s written in a humorous way, but there are bits of wisdom in there.  I can think  about an art project, do the dishes, listen to TV all at once – and somehow things get done.  The article claims that distractions rewire our brain.  All the synapses fire away in different directions – making it harder to focus.  I tried uncorking the multi-tasking genie today – it’s not easy.

I signed up for a Tarot swap – the hostess send us the cards we are to do.  The closest I got was to look up the definitions of each card.  That’s while I was looking at Battlestar Galactica – Season 1, Disk 2 on the same computer.  I also stopped mid-show and cleaned up the work table.  Then I went to find some paper that looked a little like graffiti – back to the definitions and the tv show.  Then downstairs to see Mike.  Then out to get a paper.  Came back got started again on definitions and listened to the next episode of BSG.  These cards – they are due in October and I don’t want to send in sloppy work due to an impending deadline I am in danger of missing.

Pulled back – found the paper – cut the paper – found the images – changed them to black and white – printed them on photo paper (which I had to find first) – found the glue – assembled the cards – it was too quiet – slammed in another episode – and then I wanted lunch.  Came back from lunch – finished gluing all the papers down – joined an in progress chat from one of my art groups – loaded a picture of the mule I was talking about – chatted for a while – scanned all the cards – put them into Photoshop and reduced the file size – and now I am writing about my day – it’s 5 frickin’ o’clock and I’m like, “Where did the day go?”

The cards aren’t finished yet – they need something – maybe I’ll look in some boxes (ok, that’s taking me up to bed time).  Seeing one job through to the end is impossible.  Here are the cards so far – see?  Now I wrote this blog and loaded the pictures…Focus, Janice!